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The name's Kirstin...or K-Wiz, K-Wizzle, Crackle and also Kiki. I was born in Blue, Island Illinois on March 4, 1988. I'll be off to college in the fall and I'll miss the two best friends are girl could have: Kamanda and Karen...we are the three K's...get to know us and you'll love us...besides friends, family, Jesus, one tree hill, and writing, music is the most important thing in my life.


(c) ljcandy

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Determination. [ 09/16/09 @ 8:25pm ]
[ mood | determined ]

 As hard as it is to admit and to even believe, I am a graduating senior, preparing to embark on the next phase of my life: graduate school.
I cannot believe I've spent 4 years in college...3 years of that in a committed relationship; and as rocky as it has been, I've had the determination to forge ahead and overcome those rocky moments. I've forged through the drama and stress of college and now I'm pushing myself to finally get fit. I am getting married soon and plan to have children. A long, healthy, happy life with my family and I can't do that if I'm unhealthy. 

Two weeks ago I started the 30 Day Shred...I was eating right and consistent with my workout; but this week has been extremely tough. I've been so busy with school and work and exhausted and hungry. I haven't been making good decisions and I haven't been working out everyday like I should. 

It's time for me to get back in the groove...for that determination to be reawakened within me...starting tomorrow I will start over. 30 Day Shred. Eating Breakfast, Snack, Lunch, Snack, Dinner, and Snack. I will eat healthy. Sleep well. Finish these graduate school applications. Graduate with honors. Attend graduate school. Get married. Teach. Have a family. And live a healthy and happy life. 

The determination and drive are there...now it's time to act.

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Happiness and Joy [ 01/28/09 @ 12:05am ]
[ mood | awake ]

For the first time in weeks, I can honestly say I'm happy.

I can't wait to reach the level of long lasting joy. 

But for now, I feel infinite...(which is probably why I can't sleep, lol).

A word of advice: Fight for what you want, need, and believe in and pray for it as well because most of the time, you'll get just that. 

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The end to an extremely long and dramatic fight [ 01/23/09 @ 6:53pm ]
[ mood | accomplished ]

A brilliant friend of mine told me that things aren't worth having if you don't have to fight for it. 

I fought and fought and he didn't want me as badly as he said he did. 

The end of a chapter, the scary and exciting beginning of another. 

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Unsent Letters [ 01/22/09 @ 1:46pm ]
[ mood | awake ]

Dear you,

Everytime I get a text, everytime my phone rings, everytime I get an instant message, everytime I check my email, everytime I receive a comment I hold my breath and pray to God that it's you. I can't even begin to explain the pain I feel when it's not.

I'm dying inside without you. Please come back to me. Don't be afraid. 

Loving and missing you always,


Dear you,

I really like this friendship we are restarting. I've forgotten how good it feels to talk to you. 

Thanks for being there. 



Dear Me,

Everything is gonna be alright. Be strong, believe.



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No Ordinary Love [ 01/22/09 @ 1:12am ]
[ mood | loved ]

This week has been really crazy with Jelani...and everytime I want to be done, everytime I'm fed up with him, everytime I hurt, everytime I know I don't deserve this, everytime I start to hate him, I fall more and more in love with him...everytime I want to walk away, something just keeps pulling me back to him...and everytime we talk, I just can't shake the feeling that he is the one. I don't want to date anyone else, I don't want to talk to anyone else, I just want us to be together right here, right now, forever and always. These moments are not promised to us and it's important to hold onto what you have, fight for what you want, and cherish every single moment...it's important to take advantage of every opportunity afforded, and I keep on giving him opportunities and chances and it just doesn't seem like he's ready to be with me. And I don't know what to do because I don't want to walk away from him, but I know that I can't keep playing games with my heart. I just want to be happy, and he makes me very very very happy. This isn't any ordinary love...this love doesn't come often...it's love like this that you have to hold onto and cherish, because it's so precious and it's so special. It's the kind of love that keeps you up late at night, the kind of love where all you see is that person, all you think about is that person 24 hours a day/7 days a week, even when you try to stop, you're unsuccessful. It's the kind of love where you just want to plan and you want to put your all into it repeatedly knowing there is a chance you'll hurt, but it's worth it. It's the kind of love where you believe in second chances because you need it to work more than anything because without it, there is no reason to continue living. It's the kind of love where you sacrifice so much but in the end, the reward is far greater than you could realize. It's the kind of love where you know people make mistakes and you hate them for it but love them at the same time. It's the kind of love where you just want to wake up next to that person every day. Where being in their arms means you're safe from all hurt, harm, and danger. Where sitting in silence is better than being without them. This kind of love is the kind that hurts your heart and you toss and turn at night, crying yourself to sleep and waking up to a drenched pillow because you can't stop worrying about them and the current/future state of your relationship. This is the kind of love that is not meant for the weak, but built for the strong. This is the kind of love where you can't stop talking about the person, things you've done, memories you've shared, and things you plan on accomplishing as a couple and as individuals in the future. This is the kind of love where you freak out because you haven't heard from them within five minutes. This is the kind of love where even if you're not still wearing your engagement ring, you can still see and feel its imprint on your finger and whenever you put it back on, it seems that all is right with the world. This kind of love is eternal, nothing can end it...things try to interfere and weaken it, but it just gets stronger and stronger. Honestly, when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want to start right now. When you realize you've found this love, you want to fight for it, keep to yourself, and hold on to it forever and ever.

I just want to start right now and I hope and pray he realizes this before it's too late

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[ 01/13/09 @ 1:46pm ]
 I'm leaving Chicago today the same way I came...alone.

See ya in the summer. 
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A Fresh Start [ 12/29/08 @ 9:58pm ]
[ mood | hopeful ]

So, tonight I realized that the new year is upon me and I cannot analyze or stress myself any longer. I've done all that I could and although this relationship is the most important part of my life, there have been many other parts of my life this year that have been beyond amazing that I should focus on and celebrate. I need to reflect on those moments and look forward to the amazing things that will happen in 2009. I'm so ready for this fresh start! For this fresh beginning! For this breath of fresh air. I'm ready to say goodbye and farewell to all the drama and negativity and sadness that came in 2008. I'm looking forward to everything 2009 has to offer and I'm ready to go full force and grab it by the horns! I'm ready to put everything that happened in 08 behind me...I'm not bringing it into 09. I'm leaving behind the negativity, the uncertainty, indecisiveness, worrying, mean things that people have done or said...anything and everything that does not belong in 2009 will not be in 2009. And that's that... I just pray for restoration of strength. Restoration of peace. Restoration of focus. Restoration of intelligence. Restoration of love. Restoration of hope. Restoration of faith. Restoration. Period. I'm ready for a fresh start.

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Today is the celebration of the first day of my life [ 03/26/08 @ 12:51pm ]
[ mood | loved ]

I love this man and my life began, I found my purpose in life when he walked into my life...here to stay forever and I cannot wait to be his wife!
Happy Anniversary Lovie!!!!!!

Before, my fear was being vulnerable.  The ability of another human being to possibly tear apart your insides at any moment was enough to keep me running.  He, however, made my insides come alive, my smile become permanent, laughter more frequent.  He took away my fear and gave me hope.  But more importantly, for the first time in my life, instead of wanting to run, he gave me a reason to stay.

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urgh. [ 10/02/07 @ 3:33pm ]
[ mood | confused ]

 What am I doing with my life?

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Updates!!!! [ 09/11/07 @ 11:42pm ]
[ mood | exhausted ]

 Honorable Mentions:

-Uh...life is pretty alright. Can't complain.

-Joined a lot of organizations this semester, EXCITED!!!

-Changing major from English to Child Development...yes, I'll be teaching Pre-K to 5. (y/n)? I'm still going to write...I'm just a little annoyed at certain people trying to convince me not to...jeeze! Let me live my life, please!

-Oh yeah...


I'm engaged.



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I love him. [ 07/01/07 @ 4:52pm ]
[ mood | loved ]

He means the world to me. 
I love him more and more each day. 

I love him.

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Just Like A Star Across My Sky [ 06/03/07 @ 5:37pm ]

So I rarely post in this doo dad but I would like to share with everyone...

how amazing my boyfriend is.

Sorry guys...I'm just really happy and lucky.

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Smile. [ 04/05/07 @ 5:50pm ]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So I realize that I have to learn to take my own advice.

I'm always telling my friends how they have to learn to love themselves in order for others to love them...that you have to find the good in you for others to see it,, ya know? Let your light shine and such...that sorta thing.

Well, I suppose I feel a tad hypocritcal in that I put up a facade. I mean, yes...I'm a happy go lucky kid with not a care in the world...just wanna live and be free and what not...laugh the days away...BUT...I feel like my self-esteem is slowly decreasing due to the lack of love I have for my body. I wanted a quick fix to help me lose weight not for health reasons but for everyone else.
I've never had a problem with my body until "thin was in." I started comparing myself to everyone else...wanting to look like that girl next door that didn't have to search through racks of clothes looking for the shirt or jeans that would fit her body perfectly and not make her look like a huge, disgusting mess...

I started thinking so poorly of myself...I let the media and society change my perception of beauty. I don't like who I've become...so I feel like I need to put that to rest. I'm still going to lose weight, but I'm going to do it the healthy way...just so I can be healthier...I'm not going to allow this one aspect of my life effect my self-worth.

I may hate my thighs...my stomach may not be the smallest...but I have so much more to bring to the table and I need to focus on that...the good in me...I have to learn to love myself...all of me... again!


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Life is Beautiful [ 02/11/07 @ 10:35pm ]
[ mood | optimistic ]

Life is Beautiful.
The sun is shining.
The bugs are flying.
The birds are chirping.
The grass is growing.
The flowers are blooming.
The sky is blue.
And there's a nice cool breeze.
Life is beautiful.
And I feel infinite.

I'm really happy guys. I have excellent friends and family. School is good. Life is just good. I'm not stressing over any unnecessary issues because it's just not worth it. Life is way to short...way too...beautiful.

I just want to be a good writer. A good student. A good friend. A good daughter. A good person.
A good Christian.

The end.

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Dear Charlie, [ 01/21/07 @ 11:09pm ]
[ mood | cheerful ]

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New Year. New Me. [ 12/29/06 @ 2:23pm ]
[ mood | optimistic ]

So, it's that time of year, resolutions and all...and I will make every effort to accomplish these goals.

1. Read more. Learn more.
2. Live, laugh, love...no matter what.
3. Make healthier food choices.
4. Be more eco-friendly.
5. Write more.
6. Apply for internships at magazines/newspapers/othermedia corps.
7. Be productive.
8. No relapsing!!!!
9. Get back on track with Jesus.
10. Control my temper.
11. Speak up, even though my voice may shake (no regrets).
12. Manage my money.
13. Grow (mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically)

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Reflections [ 11/15/06 @ 10:50pm ]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I. Reflect on the research step:
1. Was there any information that was unexpected?
Not really. The only information that was a bit surprising was the graduate school ranking, with Columbia as number 2. That was a bit surprising because no one really hears anything about Missouri.
2. Was there any information that was expected?
I expected the different types of print and broadcast journalisms.
3. What was it like talking with these organizations?
It wasn't as intense as I thought it would be. Everyone was really down to earth and willing to answer my questions.

II. Reflect on the selection step:
1. Why did you select the three you chose? What was/were the most important factors for each of the three?
I decided to choose three universities and companies being:
Columbia, Northwestern, and NYU. My top companies are MTV, the Red Eye, and the History Channel. I based my decisions on location, opportunity, stress factor vs. free spirited, readership/viewership, and my passion and love for that particular area of work and the school itself.
2. Has your career direction changed after considering all of the criteria?
No, not at all.
3. Looking at your top 3 criteria, why are they so important to you?
I just love to write. I love to be creative. That's why it's so important...I'll get paid to do what I love and share my passion and skills with everyone else.

III. Reflect on the design step:
1. Does your text provide an appropriate level of information?
2. What did you want to convey with your images? Do they support the text and help convey your message?
Not really. I saw a picture of a flower and thought it was awesome!
3. How does your audience selection influence the presentation?
I think since my audience is primarily girls, I'm sure they'll appreciate the awesomeness of this flower.
4. How does your color scheme enhance your theme or presentation?
It makes it vibrant.

IV. Reflect on design implementation:
1. Did you have prior experience with using an authoring tool such as FrontPage?
Not at all.
2. Did you find FrontPage easy or difficult? Why?
I found it was pretty easy, once I got the hang of things and looked at a few tutorials.
3. What would you do different with your web page if you had another chance?
Nothing at all.
4. Did you have anyone test or critique your web page? If so, who and why did you choose that person(s)?

Current Status: [ 09/09/06 @ 2:01am ]
[ mood | blessed ]

Kirstin is truly blessed, growing both spritually and mentally while having a wonderful time at Spelman.

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Leaving on a Jet Plane [ 08/10/06 @ 3:21pm ]
[ mood | optimistic ]

So I leave tomorrow at like 4 in the morning...
I felt these words to be appropriate as I sang them last night:
"All my bags are packed I'm ready to go, I'm standing here outside your door...I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me, hold me like you'll never let me go."

It's been fun, I'll keep an update of how things are going and I guess I'll see you kids either in November or December. <3

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Secret Number Two [ 07/23/06 @ 12:02am ]
[ mood | jubilant ]

I love my friends. 

You guys have no idea how much I care...sometimes I wonder if you guys love me or care for me half as much as I do you...but then I realize it doesn't matter, because my love won't ever change. I just thought I'd share that.

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